Salt and Pickles

It’s hot as though it’s another part of the country out there. Muggy, overcast and sweaty.

I slept til 10:30 (the norm lately) and had my au lait out of a bowl on a sidewalk in the sun.
I did some chores (i’m having to make lists every day so that i feel even mildly productive as i cross things off)
I went to the farmers market and bought as much stone fruit as i could (pluots, apricots, nectarines and peaches. oh and cherries. oh yum, is all i can say). some fresh fish. some veggies.
I got more sun in my hair and on my skin. I think my natural blonde will be more apparent by the end of this summer. I’d dyed it red for years and when I let it go natural again it was this dishwater dirty light brown. . not really blonde at all anymore. I am seeing streaks already after only 2 weeks with more sun on my noggin.

I’m totally going to go make a smoothie now.

So, I’m (as mentioned before) no longer employed.

I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time. I’ve had a lot of grandiose plans.. from hanging out with friends who are also at home, to organizing and cleaning the house (lots of declutter) in preparation for the baby, crafting, cooking healthy meals and maybe even packing hans some yummy lunches in our Mr. Bento.

But now that I”m at home, I’m finding myself online a lot. I look around our truly messy and cluttery (which i kept putting off because.. hey, i’d be home soon and be able to have true time to devote to tackling it) house. It’s really cluttery and really messy and has piles here and there and everywhere. and it’s actually just pissing me off and overwhelming me so i don’t get much of anything done at all. and then i’m in a bad mood.
and i’m not doing any crafting or cooking because I want the house in a reasonable state first.

argh. I wish i just knew how to get started. (i know the answer is “just start”)

So we have 80% odds of a girl, so of course that means that I’ve already bought one dress and a few girly onesies. Also, as i build my cloth diaper stash.. a few of those diapers sure are flowery. Thankfully, I have no issues with being gender-confusing and dressing my son (if those 20% odds win out) in flowery onesies or pink cherry blossom diapers. 

I love Christensen Creations Diapers and can’t stop myself from buying them. I think I have 5 now and another 10 on the way. Luckily they have good resale value!

We spent Fathers Day in a sunny kiddy park with other parents-to-be and already-parents. It was nice.. a potluck with socializing and hanging out with little ones and realizing that it’s possible.  I feel a little sunsoaked and sleepy now though.

Yesterday was also spent with new parents (5 week old) and that reminded me that tiny babies are wonderful and also a little boring. sleep, cry, sleep, cry, eat .. ok eat some more. more boob! ok cry a little. rock back and forth in swing, wiggle arms around, be bounced in arms ..It’s not bad boring. Just reminded me that being a stay at home mom is going to have a lot of … long moments. Aside from cuddling the newborn, there was also bbq and some geekery. because the geeky nerdy boys that we love so are going to play D&D. That’s right. .. many-sided dice, bugbear beasts, hob goblins and other outright nerdtopia. in their 30’s and reliving the glory.

If i weren’t going out to dinner with family I would so be asleep right now. also, now that i’m no longer getting sick… I really love being pregnant. Every time that little squiggle kicks and bounces around, I am blissed. I imagine as i get bigger it will be less blissful, but right now every movement just is glee.

Do you think they’ll let me do a shot of tequila in the hospital once the baby is out? I joke. i swear.  

I no longer have a job. today was my last day, and it feels really really strange! 

I’ve known for a few years now that as soon as i was 6 months pregnant (ok, we jumped the gun by a month) I’d quit my job and take some time to myself.. and then when the baby came I’d stay home a few years and then figure out a whole new career because web development has turned out to just not be my thing.

but it still feels weird. I’d been at that job for 8 years, and I have a feeling that I’ll have a few days where I get up automatically and head to work only to wonder who the stranger is sitting at my desk. Or i’ll feel the urge to, at least. I really liked the people, the culture, the boss, the place. I’ll miss it.

but all that aside? WOO HOO. i’m going to mexico on Friday and when I get back I’ll be having lunch at Cafe Clem on sunny days, or reading books, or readying the house for baby, or learning to sew, or shopping at the farmers market & cooking great meals, or just sitting on my ass. hooray for ass-sitting. 

Yesterday was our anatomy scan. Things looked good with the baby & it’s measuring on target..  but my placenta was a bit low. Not ‘placenta previa’ necessarily,  but low enough that they’ll be monitoring it.

I really really hope it moves up.I would like a c-section to not be a foregone conclusion. We’ve already chosen our doula, damn it!  I’m fine with a C as a means to an end. but I’d like to feel like I still have a choice at this point. Even if at the end i have none.

oh and the two techs were 80% certain it is a girl.